I was 12, me and a friend went to the mall. We were walking downstairs, coming up was a group of girls, bigger than us. As they passed us, my friend mumbled "look at those bitches". The group, who by them passed us, turned as one and started chasing us. We panicked and run to hid in the toilets. We wentinto the cubicles and stood on the sits, thinking they will not see us. They came in and started shaking the doors, yelling and threatening. I was so scared, I was certain they would kill us. It felt we stood there forever, each in her cubicle. while they were outside shouting and banging on the door. Then suddenly, I had enough. I made myself look cool and disinterested, opened the door as if I had nothing to do with this whole mess, asked them to move cooly so that I can wash my hands. They were confused, strated asking me and each other: " Is it her?" I flatly said I don't know what they were talking about, asked my friend "Are you comimg?" got her out of the cubicle and we left as if the whole thing had nothing to do with us. Until this day I don't know how I found the power to do this.

I was building some kind of barricades for the door of a trash storage room in a (migrant) squat to make sure rats wouldn't come in. A guy I didn't know came to ask me if I needed help, I said "yes, sure!" and after 2 minutes, when we were done, he went behind the storage room and asked me to join, to see something there. I went, but I felt strange straight away, the place was actually really nice, it was like a small garden, but it was also really tiny (basically trees between the trash room and a wall). I couldn't tell why but somehow he was weird, I tried to leave because I didn't feel well, and then he stopped me and put a hand on my hip. I was really suprised that I reacted so fast: I moved his hand away, yelled "no" and left. Then when I was back in the bigger yard where I felt safer, I screamed "I don't want you to touch me!" to make sure he got it and I left. Later on the day, I called a friend to tell her the story. I was still shocked that he could dare touching my body without knowing me for more than 5 minutes but I was also feeling really empowered, realizing ESD deeply taught me how to be aware and react fast. I didn't even realize my brain was checking everything around and was probably ready to respond as soon as I got to this tiny place with him.

This happened whan I was a teenager. I was enjoying a day at a local lake. I'd brought lunch and was strolling up and down the shoreline, sitting in the sun, and taking the occassional swim. It is a favourite spot and I'm very familiar with this area. I'd noticed an middle-aged guy staring at me intently several times. As I moved around to different locations and engaged in different activities, there he was. I kept my awareness on, but did my best to not let him deter from my own peace on such a glorious sunny day. There's heavily wooded areas near some parts of the path and during some of my walks, he was in those thicker woods. This continued surveilence made my "spidy sense" tingle, which just means my intuition was demanding my attention about him. As I was packed up and leaving, I had to pass an area slightly more remote and heavily wooded. I was alert, but it was quiet, maybe too quiet. So this dude rushes out alongside m, grabs for my arm and then the ESD Kicked in. Don't ask me how but in just a few seconds, I had his grabbing hand locked up and a full arm bar in place. the more he tried to pull away, the more pressure I applied. He was definitely in my grip now. Several cars stopped and seeing the situation, went to got the police. (This was long before mobile phones). a couple of big guyes stayed with me in case I needed help, but they joked I seemed to have it under control. The police arrived and cuffed and stuffed the attacker. Turns out he was a serial molester, and the wooded areas of the lake were his prefered stalking grounds.

I was on the streets with 3 other girl-friends of mine, late in the evening, going to the train station. We had stopped and were smoking our cigarettes. A drunken man approached us and he came really close to my friend, talking gibberish, asking something from her. She lowered her head and was looking at the ground, she seemed pretty uncomfortable. At that moment I was on Alert Mode, thinking and assessing the situation. I was thinking if I were to confront him physically or not. I stood up for myself and my friends and told him to go away. He got a bit angry and kept talking to my friend, he wasn't moving. Then I did something that I think was probably not the best action I could have taken, as it would escalate the aggression and not the opposite. I told him "Go away" in a louder voice and pushed him. He got really angry and lit his lighter close to my face to scare me. At that second I remember assessing the situation again, thinking if it was worth it to fight or go away. I thought avoiding a fight would be the best option so I slowly moved away and so did the girls and we left the place. He didn't follow us but he kept yelling insults that sounded like gibberish towards us. In this case I noticed using my body language, my voice to ask for what I wanted him to do and the THINK principle as I was assessing the situation.

The participant told me that lately she doesn't trust her husband's driving, she thinks it's not safe to ride with him. Before the course, she used excuses to avoid riding with him, now, when he offered to drive her to another city to meet a friend, said a clear No, thank you!

1983, I'm sixteen. At that age and time, like many of my friends, I was a party girl. We drank and drugged a lot, not always making the best decisions and definitely engaging in risky behaviour.

there were a lot of questionable characters around and though young, I hung out with a wide range of people of all ages. Our commonality was the party life. I will spare the details of what I took back then, but assurred it was a variety of drugs and I didnt ask many questions about the who or where it all came from. I saw a man I knew from "around". He was in his 40s and chatted me up for a while. He said he had some good weed and did I want to go smoke? i said yes and we rode off in his truck to look for a spot to not get caught. Back then it was still illegal, so one had to be super sneaky in my home state. We ended up in some secluded area, got high, and were chilling out, when he made his move. He tried to kiss me and I resisted. He tried again and I slapped him. In response he punched me hard enough in the head that I blacked out momentarily. I knew in this moment I was in very real trouble. I didn't know him hardly, He was bigger, stronger, and clearly intent on getting what he wanted sexually. I also realised we were in very secluded deep woods on some back road. I thought "He could rape and kill me and no one would ever find me. I'd just become a missing girl statistic." I was terrified as he continued to assert himself physically upon me, but something came to me in that moment. I decided to let him think he was going to get better than what he wanted to get myself to a safer area. I talked him up, complimenting him and playing to his masculine ego. I told him this was my first time and wouldn't it be better to have a nicer setting than a truck? I told him my parents weren't home and we should go back to my house. He agreed and we drove back into the city limits. When we got to an area I was familiar with, I waited for the right time and at a red light, jumped out of his truck. He was flabbergated and asked if I'd get back in? I told him to go f*ck himself. I did tell my best friend, but not the police, because drugs were involved.

My cousin and I were at a bar where a party was going on. Suddenly the waiter comes and starts flirting with her very intensively and disturbingly in my eyes, he wanted to invite her for a free shot. I learned that he was 26 years old and I said she couldn't go and have a drink with him because she was underage (17), he kept insisting and was making her uncomfortable with the compliments bombing. They both started walking towards the bar. So I started thinking that it was not right for him not to accept my “no” and more importantly do whatever he wants when it comes to my underage cousin. So I went over to them and I asked my cousin if she wanted to go with him, she seemed pretty uncomfortable. He got angry that I came back for her, but I didn't respond to him and I just took my cousin and left. She was very grateful that I "saved" her. THINK Principle, YELL Principle very visible here also.

In a course for trans people, one of the participants, a F to M trans person, reported that after doing the washing line activity in class, he realized that his partner is abusive and broke up with him.

I was at a party and a guy who I met the night before, was insisting on kissing me. He was very smiley and affectionate, but I didn't want him to. So he approached me and I gave him a hug; and then, when he was leaning in to kiss me, I grabbed his chin and moved his face back. I did not talk to him for the rest of the night even though he was staying in close proximity to me.

I was sitting alone in a public place late in the evening and I noticed this man approaching me, he came closer and said to me "Hey, pretty", I stood up and very clearly told him "I do not want to talk to you." and I left. He was surprised by my reaction and he immediately apologized.

We were on a holiday, we were clubbing, high and drunk, and one of us suggested driving to another club. I had a strong feeling that it's a bad idea, and I decided to trust the feeling so I didn't go with them. The car they drove had a bad accident and everyone inside was hurt badly.

On the way to teach a karate class, the instructor was stopped by a gitl. "Are you the one from ESD?" "Yes", said the instructor, "I teach both Karate and ESD."

"You probably don't remember, but 3 years ago I took a couple of your ESD classes in school. Two weeks before the workshop my uncle harrased me, but I felt sorry for him and I didn't tell anyone.  Two month after the workshop he harassed me again, I didn't dare to react on the spot, but on the day after I remembered you saying that telling is important, so I went and told my mother. She didn't believe me, but I didn't give up, I tried telling a few more people from the family until my aunt believed me and made a big noise about it. My uncle was arrested and made to go to treatment. It really helped the family and I still think about the workshop a lot!"

During a casual conversation with a social worker, it emerged that one of her clients had attended my course several years earlier and that the course had been extremely significant for her. I invited the woman to come and speak, and she attended one session.

She had originally taken the course at a centre for survivors of domestic violence. After just one session—during which she participated very little and mainly observed the physical techniques—she returned home and was attacked by an ex-partner who, since their separation several years earlier, had continued to stalk her relentlessly.

When he attacked her, she used everything she had learned in the course. Later that same week, he attacked her again, and once again she resisted. Because the second assault took place in view of security cameras at a petrol station, she was able to take the footage to the police.

She also shared that the course had motivated her to borrow money from her father and install security cameras around her home. When I met her recently, I asked what had happened after the course. She told me that the footage from those cameras eventually helped provide the evidence needed to send him to prison. After his release, he moved to another city and is now subject to a permanent restraining order preventing him from contacting her.

She also said that the course helped her cope with the police investigations and the legal process that followed.

A participant used the communication formula with her teenage daughters:

"When I arrive home after working all day and I see the dirty kitchen, I feel discouraged and tired, I have no energy to start cleaning. Please clean the kitchen after you eat" .

Between the day it happened and the day she told us the story, the kitchen was sparkling.

I was teaching a tai chi class in a park. From the kiosk nearby came a terrible noise. The vendor was playing one song, over and over again, very loud. It kept on playing repeatedly throughout our warm-up and I couldn't stand it any more. I decided to talk to the vendor. As I was coming near him, he came towards me looking all big, puffed up and angry. I was certain he is looking for a fight. Instead of giving him one, I said: "Excuse me, when you play this one song over and over again, and so loud, it is really difficult for us, we have a class here. Do you mind changing the song and turning the music down a little?"

He looked at me all confused, mumbled something and turned his back to me.

After a few moments, he did exactly what I required- changes the music and turned it down.